A Week is a Long Time in Pienomics

Discarded pie wrappers hang in the chill winds of recession at the quiet end of the street. McBroon and Willy sit hunched over a tepid bottle of Irn Bru, a single bulb glowing weakly overhead. Some pies sit disconsolately in the window display, a wee sprig of heather the only decoration.

McBroon " Cheers Willy..."

Willy " Are we aff soundbite McBroon?"

McBroon"Aye we are Willy........Pierre from pie assembly left for the night..."

Willy " Cheers McBroon...."

McBroon " Remember Willy when this end of the street was the best shopping in toon..."

Willy " Aye, I do that McBroon......full of shops.......everyone trading well........and now..."

McBroon "On one side we had the Nae Worth Nothing Pick n' Mix and on the other side IMF, Purveyors of fine kitchens......pie sales were through the roof........the wee till never stopped ringing..."

Willy " It's just no fair McBroon....all the custom has moved doon the other end....those posh bastards with their shiny new chipper, stealing all our trade..."

McBroon " Aye Willy, times have changed since the old owner left for his new career on the Rotary Club lecture circuit......they say he's earning thoosands, writing a book and buying up repossessions.."

Willy " Have another Bru McBroon, your spirits need lifting..."

McBroon " Those bastards at the Cheeky Chaps Chipper promised no more Pie n' Chips exchanges at the traders association...that big Dave bloke said this was a moment for pulling together..... a time for a pie-partisan approach..."

Willy " Sleekit bastard...never trust someone who's studied latin...he's big pals with the Mayor...too much influence.....I hear big Jackie left his job as heid of the Polis today..."

McBroon "Aye I heard he's taken over the kebab under the railway arches.."

Willy "The market did'nae like our first release of your Pie Bonds......the laddies from the chipper are telling all the toon it's a Pie in the Sky Pyramid Pie Scheme..."

McBroon "Sassenach bastards.....what's more Willy, that American Joe the plumber guy who came to fix the roof...bloody joke.......there's leaks everywhere..."

Willy "Cheer up McBroon stay on message......the Tokyo market opens bedtime Sunday.......50 quarters of growth in pie sales cannae disappear overnight..."

McBroon " Aye Willy......a week is a long time in pienomics..."

Willy " Fancy a take-away McBroon ?"

McBroon "What! doon that bloody chipper..."

Willy " Calm doon big man...over at big Jackies new kebab place.....the donners r' on me..."

Willy and McBroon switch off the light.....For Sale signs clatter against empty shop fronts...a smell of lightly battered line caught sole with double fried chips drifts up the street.