The McBroon Pie Shop

Willy: " Morning McBroon...how's they pies doing?"

McBroon: " I'm well fucked Willy, well fucked...it's nae time for novices.."

Willy: " Whit dae you mean man....calm doon....a pie's a fucking pie for all that.."

McBroon: "Aye laddie but I had a wee scheme for changing the price and it's all blown up in my face.."

Willy: "Up or doon McBroon?"

McBroon. "A bit of both Willy...doon for a wee while, then up for a wee while and then up a wee bit more for a wee while more.."

Willy: " Will that be 50 quarters of they prices going up or doon McBroon?"

McBroon: "(in song) Up doon shake it all aroun'.."

Willy: " McBroon there's a rare wee smell in your pie shop.......something must be aff.."

McBroon: "I cannae sell my pies Willy.....no-one trusts me any more.....I've lost my book-keeper......says I'm a devious bastard.....aw the punters are aff doon the street at the Osborne and Cameron Chipper...bastards.....I've been here for ages.....they're bloody novices..."

Willy: " I'm no surprised McBroon..you're a thieving lying bastard..those nice young laddies down the chipper are no novices......best chipper in toon.."