THE CHIPPER FIGHTS BACK

McBroon sits in the lotus position repeating pie mantras " no more empty pies, no more empty pies...........50 years of pie sales, 50 years of pie sales.."

Door- bell rings, Willy enters..

Willy " 50 years of pie sales McBroon....."

McBroon " Pies for hard working families.."

Willy " Let's drop this soundbite shite McBroon.......you need to ignore that Pierre bloke on the pie assembly line you hired from Brussels.......the plan is no working.."

Mcbroon " No working ?"

Willy " Those posh gits doon the Chipper are re-branding.......its no longer the Osborne & Cameron Chipper....."

McBroon " Rebranding !........always was a nasty wee chipper, always will be....."

Willy " Listen McBroon.....wee Jessie on the potato slicer tells me they were going to call themselves the No Chavs Chipper.......but that big Dave bloke, he's no a daft laddie......says that's no inclusive......wants a big tent chipper.....they're going to call it The Cheeky Chaps Chipper...."

McBroon " Bastards....."

Willy " There's worse McBroon......they're saying the Discounted Pie Purchase Plan is pie in the sky....."

McBroon " Pie in the sky!"

Willy " Aye McBroon.......there's more too......the European Pie Union wants all the comrades to sell McBroon Pie Bonds but the Jerries, Frogs and Mr Whippies aren't up for it......they don't like your Pie Bailout Plan.....Dave doon the chipper says there never was anything new aboot your pies......remember the wee pricing con you tried with VAT?.......big Dave is telling the toon your pies are the same old pies they've always been.......the lassies at the Womans Institute agree......and they know a good pie!....."

McBroon " Sassenach bastards.."

Wi