CLEANING UP AT THE PIE SHOP

Bleary eyed from a night scouring the classified property ads  Haze arrives at McBroons Pie Shop for the morning clean.

She hears the sound of voices from the back shop.

McBroon: " Willy the game's up......"

Willy: " Whit do y'mean McB......"

McBroon: " The Local Trader's Association is onto me.....say I shouldn't have been claiming for Haze..."

Willy: " Nothing wrong there McB.............only a f'ing idiot wouldn't claim for hiring a bloody cleaning woman..."

McBroon: " Aye Willy, but I share her salary with the Association....people look up to me.....the Pie Shop  has been in the McBroon family for generations...........it's the mainstay of the High Street....can't have it getting around that I'm a bad payer...."

Willy: " Aye McB.....and with you standing for Chairman of the Traders it widn'ae look good...."

McBroon: " Accounting is just not my strong point Willy.....pies have been my life....all this tax stuff just leaves me cold..."

Willy: " Just like your bloody pies..."

McBroon: " Shut it pal..... I'm gonna have to make a clean breast about this.......how about me writing a letter to the  Gazette explaining how the rules of the Trader's Association are ...."

Will: " Open to abuse...."

McBroon: " Mind your tongue laddie.........it's just that it's always been this way...."

Willy: " Look Broon there's only one solution.....you need to go on the local radio station and broadcast to the toon how you are going to change the rules of the Trader's Association ...."

McBroon: " When I become Chairman?..."

Willy: " You're forgetting a wee detail Broon.......you have to get elected first..."

McBroon: " Elected!.....I've got an agreement with the Chairman that he'll step down and I'll take over.....a fresh broom..."

Willy: " What agreement?......"

McBroon: " The Chairman promised me over a donner at Big Jackies Takeaway  he'd step aside after 10 years...."

Willy: " Don't be daft laddie.........the Chairman! he's a lying bastard......it was him that started the take-away war with the Cheeky Chaps Chipper.........remember?.................said  their fish wisn'ae line caught.......that there was a stockpile of dead fish hidden in the back-yard......"

McBroon: " Aye,too true Willy..............when Health and Safety went in they couldn'ae find anything......"

Willy: " Aye McB......that Swedish bloke Blix said there was no evidence of them stockpiling fish....."

McBroon." Look Willy I'm going to say that what I did was within the rules and once I'm head of the Traders I'll change the rules..."

Willy: " Calm doon big man...I hear that Prezza bloke is starting up a Tudor Accessorizing shop....he'll gie you a job if the Traders don't support you for Chairman..."